Can Persistence Be Taught?

I remember when I was about nine years old and picked up my first baseball. My dad bought me my first glove took me into the backyard and proceeded to teach me how to play baseball. We started off with the basic game of catch. Numerous throws and I couldn’t catch any of them. I remember feeling horrible, like I would never get it. I kept asking my dad to go inside but he would tell me “No, we’re going to stay outside even if it takes all night. You’re going to do this, you’re going to get this.” It wasn’t until what felt like the 100th time that I actually caught one! The excitement and joy I felt in that moment was remarkable. After so many failed attempts and begging my dad to go inside, I did it. If it wasn’t for my dad telling me not to give up, to keep trying, that I will get it, I would’ve gave up after the 15th try.

An article called ” Persistence is learn from fathers, says study” states that fathers with more authoritive parenting ( parents that are not as controlling and allow children to make their own decisions based on their own reasoning) produced children who were more likely to develop persistence. Paul Miller, associate professor of Psychology at Arizona State University states ” When held accountable in a supportive way, mistakes do not become a mark against their self-esteem, but a source for learning what to do differently.” (qtd in Conley) This brings me to my niece (5) and nephew (9). There has been many times where I have watched them get down on themselves over a bad grade, especially my niece who has trouble learning.  Instead of joining in and talking down to her as she cries over how she’ll never get it someone is always there to support her. Whether it be her mom, my mom or myself there is always someone there encouraging her not to give up. This is something I have saw to be productive. Instead of slamming her and telling her that she’s right that she won’t get it, we support her.  We encourage her to try harder or help her find a different way to understand what she’s trying to learn.  This really helps her and she usually doesn’t have a problem once she gets in the mode to persist and try again.

In a student’s essay called ” Tough Times” he talks about the struggle his parents had faced money wise. He then talks about how they worked so hard to always be able to put money aside in case of an emergency. When it came time for him to get his own job he learned hard work does pay off. He had broken his ankle and all the money he saved (which he learned from his parents to be persistent about) was more than enough to cover all his bills for the two months he was unable to work. His parents’ continuous effort to put money away despite the difficulty rubbed off on him and he was able to do the same.

Also, found on another student’s blog, Michael, his essay was entitled ” My Persistent Drive To The Top”. He explains how his junior year of high school he broke his fibula, tibia and fractured his growth plate in his left ankle during a rivalry basketball game. He was told by doctors that he would not be ready to participate in any fall sports that following school year because his ankle wouldn’t be strong enough even after six months of physical therapy. Michael was determined to play and be just as good if not better than before. He started going to the gym along with physical therapy and that fall he was MIAA Golfer of the year. When basketball season came around he had a higher points per game, assists per game and rebounds per game compared to the season before. Michael states ” Being persistent is one thing I learned from my mother. She was a single mother raising 3 boys and working 60-hour weeks”. He then goes on to say “She is truly an inspiration to me and showed me that being persistent with your goals and what you want can be obtained.”  Michael learned his persistence from his mother’s constant devotion to provide for her three boys. Perhaps his mother had not been a single mom he may not have learned this persistence from her.

Experts define grit as persistence, determination and resilience as said in an article titles ” Does Teaching Kids To Get ‘Gritty’ Help Them Get Ahead?” The Lenox Academy for Gifted Middle School Students in Brooklyn N.Y.  has been trying to get their kids to  be grittier over the years. Recently students were studying Steve Jobs and were asked to give examples of how Jobs showed grit. One student states “He had failed one of the Mac Projects he was creating.” (qtd in Smith) Another student further explains ” He used his mistakes to help him along his journey.” (qtd in Smith) With not just showing kids how other people have used grit to be better, teachers allow children to experience grit themselves. When students struggle to answer a question, their teachers let them squirm through the silence rather than throwing hints at them. Tom Hoerr lead the New City School in St. Louis that has also been working on grit and says ” If our kids have graduated from here with nothing but success, then we have failed them, because they haven’t learned how to respond to frustration and failure.” (qtd in smith)

As most children follow by example, I believe persistence can be taught if done appropriately. Encouraging children to never give up and to push forward no matter how tough it gets, listening to them rather than bashing them and allowing them to get a taste of struggle are all ways children can be taught persistence. The more persistent children we create will hopefully result in a better future for generations to come.

 

Work Cited

CFarias23. “Tough Times.” English 101. edublogs., 22 Mar. 2014. Web. 26 Mar. 2015.
Conley, Mikaela. “Persistence Is Learned from Fathers, Says Study.” ABC News. ABC News Network, 15 June 2012. Web. 26 Mar. 2015.
mseddon12. “My Persistent Drive to the Top.” Michael. edublogs, 03 Mar. 2015. Web. 26 Mar.     2015.
Smith, Tovia. “Does Teaching Kids To Get ‘Gritty’ Help Them Get Ahead?” NPR. NPR, 17 Mar. 2014. Web. 26 Mar. 2015.

 

My word document

When looked up in a dictionary, persistence can be defined as a firm or obstinate continuance in a course of action in spite of difficulty or opposition. In simpler terms, persistence is never giving up no matter how hard something is or because you failed numerous times. But, is this something children can be taught?

I remember when I was about 9 years old and picked up my first baseball. My dad had bought me my first glove took me into my back yard and proceeded to teach me how to play baseball. We started off with catching. Numerous throws and I couldn’t catch any. I remember feeling horrible like I would never get it. I kept asking my dad to go inside but he would tell me “No, we’re going to stay outside even if it takes all night. You’re going to do this, you’re going to get this.” It wasn’t until what felt like the 100th time that I actually caught one! The excitement and joy I felt in that moment was remarkable. After so many failed attempts and begging my dad to go inside I did it. If it wasn’t for my dad telling me not to give up, to keep trying, that I will get it , I would’ve gave up after the 15th try.

An article called “Persistence is learned from fathers, says study” it is stated that fathers with more authoritve parenting (parents who allow their kids to explore and make decisions with their own reasons) produced children who were more likely to develop persistence. “When held accountable in a supportive way, mistakes do not become a mark against their self-esteem, but a source for learning what do differently” says Paul Miller (Conley, Mikaela. “Persistence Is Learned from Fathers, Says Study.” ABC News. ABC News Network, 15 June 2012. Web. 09 Mar. 2015.), associate professor of Psychology at Arizona State University. When being supported and told you’ll get it next time rather than being slammed and called names it can really help a child to persist and try again.

There has been many times where I have watched my niece (5) and my nephew (9) get down on themselves and want to give up, especially when it comes to homework. Instead of joining in and talking down on them as well whether it be their mom, grandmother or myself there is always someone there to encourage them to not give up and keep trying until they get it.

Grit (courage and resolve) is also being seen as a key to persistence as said in the article “Does teaching kids to get ‘Gritty’ help them get ahead?” It is what drives one kid to practice at something over and over until they get it right while another quits after the first failed attempt. “ This quality of being able to sustain your passions and also work really hard at them, over really disappointingly long periods of time, that’s grit” says Angela Duckworth,( Smith, Tovia. “Does Teaching Kids To Get ‘Gritty’ Help Them Get Ahead?” NPR. NPR, 17 Mar. 2014. Web. 06 Mar. 2015.) a psychology professor at the University of Pennsylvania who coined the term “grit”. Although grit hasn’t been proven to be taught I believe it can be. Having grit is just the same as being persistence and showing children everyday how you have grit or are persistence will likely rub off on them.

As most children follow by example I believe persistence can be taught if done appropriately. Encouraging children to never give up and to push forward no matter how tough it gets, listening to them rather than bashing them are ways children can be taught persistence. The more persistent children we create hopefully will result in a better future for every single one of them.

 

 

8:51pm on June 8, 2006 my life as I knew it was over. I was sitting on the rocking chair in my living room when my mom came home and blurted out in tears “Dad didn’t make it.” Immediately my eyes filled with tears as I screamed in agony. I could barely catch a breath when my mom came over to try and calm me down. The only person who could comfort me, the only person I wanted to comfort me, was my dad and he couldn’t.

The first week of being “fatherless” was the worst week of my life. My dad died a couple days before father’s day and just 10 days shy of his and my mom’s 30th wedding anniversary. It was a really rough month for all the Arruda girls. I didn’t go back to school to finish the year I didn’t want to be treated any different. My friends who knew about my dad’s passing didn’t really know how to talk to me. I mean how do 11 year olds talk about death? My 2 best friends would try and get me to remember the good times. We would laugh back at things my dad has done like this weird dance he had to a Geico commercial and his perfect impression of the Goofy laugh. It made me feel a little better but then the laughing would stop and I would go back to being sad.

Summer ended and school started back up which meant soccer was starting. This was something me and my dad bonded over. He would bring me to all my games and practices, cheer me on from the side line ( he would literally run up and down the field with us), he was the ultimate “soccer dad”. With my dad gone and my mom to busy with work or cleaning up the house, I really started to resent my dad for dying. I hated being the kid that had no one to support them. All this built up anger in me affected me academically. I began to act out in school and just neglect to do any work. I was suspended 5 times that year for “disrespecting” teachers. It wasn’t until the end of 8th grade where I got a rejection letter from Diman that I knew I had to change something.

When I started high school I was still bitter at the fact that my dad was really gone. Come sophomore year something clicked in my head. I was motivated to become the person I knew my dad wanted me to be. Someone he would be proud of. I got my A game on and made the honor roll that year. We all know with highschool comes drama and boys something I was never to familiar dealing with. A lot of boys would try to get to know me but I would just push them to the side. How was I supposed to know who was good or bad with out a father to judge? I had been so terrified of letting someone in or allowing someone to care about me that it wasn’t until my senior year that I actually gave someone a chance ( one of the best decisions of my life). My boyfriend of almost four years now has given me a little bit of life back to me that I had once lost.

Senior year ended and on my dad’s 6th anniversary I walked across the stage and recieved my diploma. I could actually feel him there during the entire ceremony. When my name was called to recieve my diploma, friends and family were all there to yell and cheer me on. I flashed back to the moments he would be at my games yelling and cheering me on and for a short while it felt like my dad was never gone. I knew my dad would’ve been so proud of me and it felt good to end this chapter and perceed to start an even better one.

November after graduation I found out I was pregnant. Scared, nervous, excited, my mind was full of so many emotions. I knew if my dad was alive he would have been so disappointed in me, that his baby girl was going to be a teen mom. My mom hardly spoke to me for seven months but on July 31st everyone fell in love. I know my dad would have too. Along with my dad’s passing helping me to push forward and do good for him, Audrey has really helped with getting me motivated to push through any obstacle. Now I didn’t just have a dad to make proud I had a daughter.

Wanting to make both of them proud I went back to school for Medical Assisting in which I recieved my certificate this past October. I paid for school, worked and provided for Audrey all on my own. I am now back in school persuing to become a Registered Nurse. This is something I know my dad would have been extremely proud of.

Now that Audrey is older (1 1/2) it is a lot easier to help keep my dad’s memory alive and not in a place where it only made me sad. Sometimes we go threw old photos of my dad and she can point out which one is her Grampy and she’ll even give him a kiss. We have a stand by the stairs in my house with a photo of my dad along with a small tree that my mom will decorate with lights for each holiday that passes. I live in front of the cemetary that my dad is buried in and in the summer I bring Audrey to go see him and she’ll play with the cars ( he was a huge nascar fan) by his grave and make sound affects. It is such a bittersweet feeling to watch her play by his grave side.

Nine years has past and a lot has changed from being that 11 year old fatherless child to the 20 year old motivated to make her father proud woman. Losing a parent is extremely difficult to over come. There are some days where it is extremely hard especially when I think about the future and how he will never get to walk me down the isle when I get married or how I’ll never have a father daughter dance. I just have to think of all the cheering he did for me and imagine he’s still is doing so from Heaven. When he first past I thought my life was over. It took so much for me to move foward and to motivate myself to do good for him. He may be gone physically but I am determined to build the life he could have only dreamed of for me.